spring’s sacrifice

dear you,

spring brings her flowers to my door, arms full of daffodils and new life. her cheeks are flushed with the footnotes of winter. i am told to follow and i cannot disobey: she pulls me into thoughts of what comes next. i want to live in her arms forever, this gentle embrace, forgetting about the uncertainty of what proceeds her. she smiles but i do not. i know what spring truly brings, behind her budding flowers and newborn lambs. she is the beginning of the end; this happiness will not last. i know soon i will be thrown into the depths of unpredictability, left to fend off the fear of adulthood.

each year she arrives and i already know the consequences, and each year i am determined to make a change. but she brings her new life and cold hands and i cannot help but accompany her. it is said that spring redeems the winter’s sorrows, yet in the depths of my soul i find her touch deepens the chill. i am forced to navigate a delicate, transient space: it is a timeless dance that i take up with spring. she should be the gentle exemption within the cycle of seasons, yet with each budding bloom she only brings recollections of the darkness.

underneath the flowers i can see the truth, the ending of so much to come. people are moving on and i am suspended in nothingness, dreaming of spring’s dishonest hands on my face telling me that all will be well. her hands will be cold and she will wipe away my tears. the air will be filled with the fragrance of blossoms, the sky will be painted in colourful hues. i will believe her, until it is too late. until everyone has left and i am watching from a distance. all i can do is find solace in her arms, her existence a constant reminder of the ever-turning wheel of time. so let me embrace you, dear spring, for i am nothing but your sacrifice.

love, kate

P.S. agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.

(artwork: agnus dei by francisco de zurbaran)